


SmashAU The Subspace Emissary 2 chapter 0.001: A signal for Subspace.

by An_Awning_Mouse



Series: SmashAU [5]
Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: AU, Humor, Interview, Prologue, SmashAU, Subspace Emissary, The Backrooms - Freeform, self indulgent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25940872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/An_Awning_Mouse/pseuds/An_Awning_Mouse
Summary: Tabuu (or Neo Tabuu, as he is known now), after rising from nonexistence and gathering what remains of his power, reluctantly decides to hold a job interview to decide who would form the latest generals of his Neo Subspace Army. Results vary wildly.
Series: SmashAU [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1837948
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	SmashAU The Subspace Emissary 2 chapter 0.001: A signal for Subspace.

Neo Tabuu sat upon his throne, head resting on his fist. He was, admittedly, unsure of the effectiveness of this plan. After he had risen from his defeat by absorbing the shattered remains of the warring deities of light and darkness and fused all the worlds together, all he needed was to bring several of the most powerful villains in the multiverse under his thrall to serve as his Neo Subspace commanders. However, he knew that he would not be able to use his previous commanders after their failure and betrayal; besides, Ganondorf was too hungry for power, Bowser was too much of an incompetent oaf, and that yellow fat man had hardly even served, mostly preferring to just run rampant around the lands doing whatever he liked. As the neon butterfly of death currently lacked the Shadow Bugs to spare on brainwashing, his current second-in-command, Duon, had suggested something far simpler than most would expect from a virtual god like him- holding an interview. Neo Tabuu hadn't been sure at first, but the half-and-half Subspace robot had assured that by using less extravagant measures, the potential generals would be more willing to assume that he was on a similar level to them, and join out of a foolish belief that they'd be capable of manipulating him. Though the Subspace Demideity hated the idea of making himself appear weaker in front of inferior beings, he had to admit that the idea held merit, and so had tentatively agreed.

Speaking of Duon, they wheeled in from a portal appearing in the side of the "room," carefully pinching a stack of papers between their blue halves swords to keep from dropping it. After depositing the papers on a small "table" made of hard light in the middle of the room, they spun around, allowing their pink half to shake several more forms free from their arm cannons.

"Duon, are you certain that this more _humble_ approach will serve well in drawing servants to me?" Neo Tabuu asked, his voice booming and echoing through the Subspace pocket. "Tyrants such as the ones we shall attract only respect power, after all."

"No need to worry sir," the combat bot chirped, "I have it all figured out!" Neo Tabuu had used many of his spare shadow bugs to resurrect his deadly commander, but as a result of the damage he had taken in the battle against the accursed Super Smash Brothers, Duon had returned with a few..... quirks, to put it lightly. Seeing the skepticism on his boss's face, they added, "besides, you can still flex some of your godly power if any of these guys don't cooperate. I just figured that loyalty through respect would be stronger than loyalty through fear, but you do you, boss!"

Neo Tabuu sighed in relief, straightening up in his throne. The reassurance that he wouldn't have to go overboard in appealing to the inferior fools inhabiting the new world of trophies had made him feel a bit better. "I suppose you have a point there. I'd would rather my _loyal generals_ **stay loyal this time,** and your suggested approach would perhaps prove advantageous in this regard." After his sudden defeat when he first tried to conquer the world of trophies, even the once-haughty Subspace God would prefer to not take chances. Sensing an approaching visitor, he commanded, "Duon, it would seem as if though our first applicant has arrived. Summon them before me."

"Right away sir!"

Neo Tabuu smirked. It had been irrational to be worried. Now, the strongest, smartest, and most ruthless in the entire multiverse were flocking to him to serve under his Neo Subspace Army, bending all who stood in his path to his will. Honestly, what could go wrong?

\----------

"-So, yeah. I'm basically the biggest and best villain of all time! For me, every century is a new crime of the century," the latest applicant had bragged. Neo Tabuu nodded pretending to listen as he continued, "even stole the great pyramids out from the people's noses. Never suspected a thing."

It actually took a while for Neo Tabuu to realize that the peculiar lanky man was done with his story and perk back up. Mentally cursing himself for ever considering this approach, he decided to make sure that this wasn't a total waste of time. "And how do you carry yourself in battle? What are your special powers or equipment?"

"Well, for my neutral special, I wield a gun."

Neo Tabuu raised an eyebrow. "And-?"

The Neon Butterfly didn't get a chance to finish his question before the interviewee whipped out his weapon of choice.

_"A PIRANHA GUN! OH YEAH!"_

Pulling the trigger, the lanky man in the orange jumpsuit did indeed fire a distressed piranha from his gun, which ricocheted across the room before eventually impacting Neo Tabuu's face with a wet _smack._

He was most certainly not amused. 

Vector remained oblivious to his maybe-at-one-time-potential-but-almost-certainly-not-now employer's tranquil fury, caught in some sort of ridiculous thrust dance as he rambled and bragged even more. "Stunned into silence? Can't say I blame you. I mean, who else is evil _and_ genius enough to come up with a super weapon that fits in your pocket and is powered by an endangered species? That takes direction and magnitude, which is how I commit all my crimes: with both _direction_ and _magnitude!_ Oh hey, that reminds me, you should see my squid launcher-"

Neo Tabuu willed it, and a Subspace portal opened up beneath Vectors feet, sending him plummeting on a one-way trip to _somewhere_ ; The God of Subspace hadn't particularly cared _where_ the self-proclaimed "greatest villain of all time" would end up, he just wanted him gone then and there. "Duon, I summon you," he commanded dryly, massaging his temple with two fingers, "This one was an absolute failure. Send for the next general candidate."

Duon rolled back into the room from a Subspace portal, looking slightly worried. "Uh, wow. Ok. I gotta say, I wasn't really expecting someone to be rejected so fast. Was he really that bad?"

Neo Tabuu did not need to breath, but he did exhale from his nose in exasperation. "You have no idea. Now, send for the next recruit. I have a sinking feeling that this will be an excruciatingly unpleasant experience for everyone involved."

The dual-sided destruction dealer sheepishly rubbed the back of their head (or rather, their pink halves face) with their blades. "You're my lord, m'lord...."

There was no concept of time in Subspace, but this was going to be a long day.

\--------

Vector landed face first with a pained yelp (there was a carpet, but it was too thin to absorb much impact), and eventually pulled himself up off the floor to look around. He was in some sort of vaguely unnerving place decorating with nothing sans some milquetoast wallpaper and yellow carpeting. The light fixtures incessantly buzzed with loud and mildly irritating white noise, the entire place had a distinctly noticeable yet indescribable smell to it, and two openings on opposite sides of the room only lead to more of the same.

Vector may not have been very savvy in what was or wasn't practical, but he was savvy in the Internet, and he knew exactly where he had just wound up.

"Oh poop."

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something I wanted to put out there. May or may not update it later.
> 
> Be sure to give feedback and kudos if you liked it!


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